So, we've been 'allocated' our SW and we have met him and he's going to be fine. I don't think we should judge SWs because they are, by definition, a strange breed. Loving, caring, supportive but also a little unhinged - well they've got to be haven't they? They deal with all this negativity and crap every day, dealing with people who shouldn't be allowed to keep children and, ultimately, removing them to prove the point. That's going to affect anyone I would think. Did I say we wouldn't judge him/them?!
The first assessment session took place yesterday with the SW visiting our home. All very simple, nothing too complicated but it didn't stop us cleaning the toilets (already clean, but worth doing just in case!), dusting the ornaments, hoovering and plumping up the cushions. We even bought five different varieties of cake and cranked up the authentic Italian coffee machine to make sure he would feel welcome.
We spent two hours discussing the process, learning more about what would be required over the next few months as we approach 'Panel' for approval. We were worried that this would happen quicker than we'd expected and so we were relieved when we were told that Panel wouldn't be until around April.
There will be 16-18 visits over the coming months, one a week, and we'll be met individually and together. Our referees will be interrogated and questioned, we'll undergo CRB checks and medicals and, ultimately, there will be a lengthy report written about who we are, what we do, how we do it and whether we're suitable to adopt a child.
Our SW is going to provide us with more information about one of the children we selected at the Argos for Children night, sorry Parents for Children night. We're keen to know more about her to see whether she really would be an interesting match. Our SW will also begin to look at children on the register, or coming on to the register, to find potential matches for us too.
There is a possibility that we could progress quicker if we're matched earlier but there's still quite a lot of work to do before we reach Panel.
Oh, and lest we forget, we're gay and that "obviously means" that some SWs may not see us as the ideal parents for the children they represent. Of course "that's wrong and shouldn't happen, but it does" we're reliably informed. Er, I think we'd guessed already that we won't be suitable for every child. We're settled and relaxed enough to accept that this may become a bit of a competition for favour amongst SWs representing children. We're on hand to make cakes, bake bread or create beautifully fluffy cappuccinos for anyone who visits...whether they're prejudiced or not. Bring them in, let's meet them and then they can decide themselves whether we're Hannibal Lecter in spandex or just a normal, settled couple who think they can provide a warm, loving, happy, rewarding life to a child who desperately needs it.
The choice, my friends, is yours...
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